Trust and let go. This is my mantra. So much of my 2014 life was spent full of stress and worry about the future that I decided to focus my energy on something different. So, I landed on “Trust and let go”. This means that this year, I trust myself. I’m trusting that whatever happens, whatever decision, instance, situation I find myself in, is what it is supposed to be because of how I have lived my life up to that point, and if I find it doesn’t match up, I let it go. I let go of what I can’t control.
Every day I read aloud a list of personal affirmations; qualities, if you will that I aspire to follow or be. One of my favorites is, “Be the best version of yourself, so that you can help others become the best versions of themselves.” This isn’t saying that I have control over other people, but if I’m living my life according to my values, and being the best version of myself, I won’t get in my own way when interacting with strangers, friends, family and even my husband. It allows me to fully focus on them, listen and encourage when I can.
I had to remind myself of this today. I had a moment of fear and worry and because of it I might have lost out on an opportunity to live out my goal to help others become better versions of themselves. I want to teach yoga. I own a yoga studio and I want to teach, but honestly I don’t have the time or finances at this time to go to an immersion and get my teaching hours. I have tons of schooling in health and wellness and I know a lot of it will go towards my non-contact hours, but I need the contact hours. I have started studying hatha on my own and my fellow business partner/wife is going to teach me but before deciding all of this, I had a moment where I really doubted myself. I doubted my ability to bring people to a place of peace and strength in their practice. My friend is such an inspiring teacher and I’m so blessed that she is also my business partner. I am constantly inspired and encouraged by her that I felt, maybe I wouldn’t be able to create the environment she does when she is in that studio room. I justified my fear with “I don’t want to be the one that causes a fellow practitioner to not go deeper in their practice.” It’s a legitimate fear, but I also didn’t see the other side. Randomly, yesterday, I had a beautiful soul tell me that I should just teach. She took me by surprise and is the cause of this thought train. It was later that night, I was on Instagram when I saw a post from one of the famous yogis I follow on there. She’s incredible and I love to read her posts. This is what she said. “Giving back to others is more meaningful to me than anything I would achieve in my own yoga practice. Teaching is something that I believe, is passion to help and love others. It is the desire to bring out the best in other people and it has nothing to do with how amazing you asana practice is. It really has more to do with serving other people more than yourself by means of sacrificing your time and knowledge.” Talk about confirmation. Twice in one day! This helped me work through my fear by realizing that I may have a different practice than my friend and I may teach differently than her, but I can still touch people’s lives through yoga, because yoga touched my life and made it better. I’m not going to be a perfect teacher. I’m going to stumble on my words, forget an asana or two every now and then, but because of the healing that yoga has brought in my heart and my body, I’m able to harness that passion and energy and pour it into another life that is yearning for something; anything to help with the pain they experience.